On the cusp of change

I am completely and utterly torn… kind of floating around right now not attached to one world.  Hovering in between two.  Where one identity is on the verge of being somewhat replaced by another.  My former self etched into something more… something better.  But yet – I am not quite there yet.  I am 11 days away from my due date.  I will be doing the most important thing I’ll ever do in my entire life in one of these next 11ish days… giving someone life.  Bringing someone into this world and giving them everything I have and more.  And I’m scared, excited, nervous, anxious… I am torn between wanting to get started with this new life.  With our son in it.  And hanging onto my life now.  Quite.  Independent.  Free.  I want to so badly meet him and kiss him and hold him close and let him know he is what I was supposed to do in life – be his mom.  I want to go on adventures with him to the park and nurse him to sleep, I want to hold his hand and chase after him.  I want to teach him things I was taught when I was younger and teach him important lessons in life.  I want to dress him in adorable outfits and school boy caps and smell that baby smell.  I want all these things and more which is why I got frustrated today at a weekly appointment to find out I haven’t progressed at all from the last appointment.  Hurmph.

But I also want to so badly sit here in silence for another couple months.  I want to go grab my purse and keys and get a venti iced chai late and sit outside in this gorgeous weather we have been having while reading a book.  I want to go get a manicure/pedicure when I want and blast my favorite tunes through the speakers in the living room.  I want to go play and giggle and make last minute plans and go out for a drink.  Not responsible for anything and anyone but myself.  But then I feel that reminder.  That kick or jab in my belly reminding me that we are getting so close.  I sometimes will stand in front of the mirror from the side and just stare at how large my belly has gotten knowing he is in there growing and counting on me and listening to Mimi bark or me laugh so hard his little home shakes like crazy.  So am I sad for my former life? Yeah I am… but I think that’s normal.  Change is never easy no matter how beautiful it is and how much you cant wait for it or even been wanting it.  And he will be worth it.. hearing him for the first time and holding him close and my former self will wave goodbye and a better, stronger more important self will emerge ready for this next stage.

So until that moment comes, I’ll sit here in silence enjoy a last solo manicure/pedicure without having to worry about anything else and blast my favorite song.  Because once that moment is here – it’s going to be the most magical moment I’ll ever experience.  I know it.

Brain Dump

Source: wordsoverpixels.com via Positively Present on Pinterest

Holy moly! So much has been going on! To start I am 35 weeks and 3 days but there is room for discussion on that since my last ultrasound showed a rather large baby already! 6.3 lbs! I am hoping I go early, but everyone keeps telling me not to get my hopes up since most 1st time pregnancies go full term even post-term. I don't care though, my hopes are high and they are staying there! C'mon baby!

I am taking this Thursday and Friday off of work, why you may ask? Because I can. I feel I have been an exceptional trooper during this pregnancy and would like a little "ME" time before the baby actually arrives. All by myself. Doing "me" things like sleeping in, reading, cleaning, shopping, movies, lunch dates, and whatever my little heart desires. So I am pretty excited about that :) I plan on finishing a couple projects around the house as well and to still be incredibly productive.

We are about 95% done with Baby's room. All his clothes are washed and put away, I have two outfits ready for him for the hospital. I have to hang a couple poms my mom made for our shower in the room above the rocking chair - I think it will be the nice final touch that will pull the room together. I'll make sure I take pictures to share soon.

Work has been absolutely crazy. There is so much going on between in state branches, out of state branches, keeping up morale since there have been so many changes, workers compensation, unemployment, manuals, employee relation issues etc. I am on my toes literally ALL DAY! I am not complaining though because my hectic work schedule forces me to stay on a good schedule of eating, drinking, etc while growing this baby. Would I love to sit at home in peace and eat ice cream all day? You bet! But I think this is for the best. Only 16 work days till I go on maternity leave. Yippie!

Yesterday was Paczki today. I am not Polish, but my husband is and he was sweet enough to go pick up a dozen of them for my office and another 1/2 dozen for us at home. I am not going to tell you how many i've had. But I will tell you they were delicious!

Some of the things I am hoping to get accomplished on my days off and into the weekend are:

• Finish baby's room
• Really clean up house
• Finish Thank you cards and send them out
• Clean out car/fill up/wash (if weather is good)
• Get caught up with all laundry
• Pack my hospital bag
• Install baby car seat

There you have it. Hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday!

Lust List

Since we found out we were expecting, we put ourselves on a budget and as we have been getting closer and closer to the due date, our budget has been getting tighter and tighter in preparation of me taking off 3 months to care for our little one. Even though my spending has been on lock down that hasn't stopped me from lusting after a couple different things and the funny thing is even if I wasn't on lock down I couldn't afford half these things anyway hah!:

1.) Bare Escentuals Powder Foundation: I recently ran out of this and that makes me sad. I usually apply this over my liquid foundation to smooth everything out. It's wonderful.

2.) Misikko HANAair Hair Dryer: This beauty comes with a hefty price tag of $194.99 but i've been reading it's magical. I have so much hair and usually spend about 20-25 minutes drying my hair on the days I do wash it. Plus my old dryer is harsh on my strands. Drool.

3.) Clarisonic Mia: Ever since I was about 17 I started a skin care regime - nothing too crazy usually just moisturizing, trying not to go to bed without taking of my makeup and washing my face with an exfoliater in the morning. Well I want to take it to the next level and heard this Clarisonic Mia does wonders for your skin. At $108, it's not too bad. Maybe for my birthday!

4.) Frye 'Jane' Tall Pull-on Boot: Pioneer Woman has made it very obvious of her favorite boot. The Frye Jane Boot. I've always wanted a simple, classic looking boot to pull over a pair of jeans that was very versatile. I love the color and look so much but at a $297.95 - $327.95 tag, it aint happening anytime soon. Goodbye lover.

5.) Sephora Immediate Wrinkle Filler: I haven't tried this yet, but I've heard this product is ahhhmaaazziinnng. It really helps fill in gaps especially with concealer giving you a more polished finish look.

6.) A vacation: Hah! I have been fortunate enough to cross off two BIG destinations on my list of places to travel. Hawaii and Italy. But lately i've been really wanting to check out Paris. I am part French you know, oui oui! The culture, the clothes, the architecture, the people, the FOOD! How lovely would it be to get away and soak in all the culture. One can only dream!

7.) Bringing up Bebe: Going along with the french culture, I've been hearing wonderful things about this book Bringing up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman. It's about an American journalist who moves to France and is amazed at the differences in parenting between the french and Americans. I heard about it first in a blog than in people magazine and then again on another blog. It's a sign I think! I don't think it would break the bank to pick up a $13 copy, don't you?

8.) Kitchen Aid Hand-mixer: Believe it or not, I do not own one and would like one. The end.

9.) Tarina Tarantino Brush Set: I think every girl should invest in a nice brush set. I only have a couple cheapy one's that feel harsh and I'm not a big fan of. After much research, I read these beauties are a wonderful investment! And actually they aren't THAT much at $69.

So there you have it, my lust list. Ranging from $20-a couple thousand. Got a nice assortment of realistic things and not so realistic things. What's on your lust list?

My Valentine

Mike and I don't celebrate valentines day. We don't buy each other gifts or cards or do anything crazy. In fact I think our plan today is to cook dinner together than go grocery shopping. No joke. I am very grateful for my valentine though, he knows I don't need a day like today to know how much I love him but I am going to tell him anyway.

I love you because...
you love me for me
you're the father of our son
you make me smile and laugh everyday
you send me text messages every morning letting me know you got to work safely.
you're incredibly patient
you kill all spiders and bugs after I freak out
you empty the dishwasher almost every morning
you leave me the last bit of milk in the carton so I can have something to eat for breakfast.
you help me off the couch if I cant get up
you take my glasses off if I fall asleep with them on
you know all my tickle spots
you're full of interesting information and facts
you love your family and mine immensely
you have the softest spot for Mimi and that makes me smile
you're incredibly devoted and loyal
you see lots of chick flicks with me, even at home
you try hard everyday
you know how to cheer me up
you know how to calm me down
you are silly and have the best laugh
you are the best conversationalist I know
you have your own life outside of us
you have your own passions which I love
you want to share your passions with me
you put on a good meal
you give good back massages
you help a lot around the house
you want whats best for me... for us.
you're my best friend
you get me
you are you always...

I love you Michael.

Monday already?!

The weekends go by far too fast which bums me out. Lately the weekends have been so jam packed with the hustle and bustle of preparing for Baby. I am really trying to push through it because the sooner I get it done the sooner I can spend the next 5 weeks 6 days in peace!

Friday:

I got out of work a little early and Mike and I immediately left the house to go out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, Bonefish in Novi. I got their Bang Bang shrimp and a bowl of their Corn and Crab chowder. So delish! We also tried their Chocolate Creme Brule - it was SO rich we couldnt finish it. After dinner we headed over to the theatre and saw The Vow. It was your typical sappy love story but let me tell you, it was SO fun to stare at Channing Tatum for the duration of the movie. After the movie we stepped outside to a full on blizzard! And I was still wearing my flats, FASHION FAIL! We drove 35 mph the whole ride home. Scary!

Saturday:

Saturday morning we slept in which was so wonderful. We lounged in bed reading, playing on our phones, cuddling. It was perfect. After lounging we grabbed a big bowl of cereal and played pinball on the xbox 360. Around 11:30 two of my co-workers came by so we could head out to the volunteering event we signed up for. It was for the Junior Achievement Jackson school district. We all raised money and bowled. I couldnt actually bowl since I am preggers but I had a lot of fun watching the fun. It was a crazy bowl meaning the first game was normal bowling and the second game was the crazy bowl where they team had to do a bunch of crazy things like get on all fours and toss their ball down using the palm of their hand or do a zumba line down. It was cute. After the event, we headed back home and I immedietly headed over to my parents house since I the bedding I picked out for baby v's room came in. I hung out there for a couple hours and headed home - LONG DAY!

Sunday:

Sunday was for getting things in order. I spent the day cleaning the house, washing and folding all of the babys clothes, doing our own laundry - 3 loads worth! Took a little nap, Mike put together the swing, we made dinner - baked chicken drumsticks and rice pilaf. As we were sitting down having dinner we hear a knock at the door. And since I am not a fan of strangers I was like we are NOT opening the door. But the knocking kept coming and so did the door bell. Finally Mike was like I'm just going to answer it! It was my in-laws! They dropped by since they were in the area to drop off a baby gift that was sent to their house and our valentines day cards/treats. We sat with them for about an hour - it was really nice! Afterwards I finished cleaning, putting away dishes, and folding more laundry until I collapsed on the couch.

It was such a fun and productive weekend. Glad I am still feeling well enough (energy wise) to get things accomplished. I am already feeling sluggish and not moving as fast. To be expected for 34 weeks, right?! This week is going to be busy at work so I am going to buckle down.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Happy Friday!

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Friday is finally here! This week was a good one. Very busy with work and baby preparation stuff. I am looking forward to this weekend even though it's supposed to be cold and even a little snowy. On the agenda this weekend:

- Date night with the hubs. Dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and then a movie. Any recommendations?
- Returning some duplicate gifts we got through the two showers.
- Volunteering on Saturday afternoon.
- Saturday night keeping in low key
- Sunday is for reading and decompressing.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Your perfect day...

Source: flickr.com via Mariabot on Pinterest

I get so wrapped up in work and life and my every day to do's and responsibilities that I sometimes forget that that stuff is just a part of life - it's not everything. I got to thinking how nice it would be to schedule a day off and have a perfect day. Then I got to thinking, what would my perfect day look like?

I'd wake up around 8:00 to an already perfectly clean house.
I'd shower, get ready, my hair - would be perfection. Makeup - flawless
I'd go to Starbucks and grab myself my favorite drink - lately it's been a Vanilla Latte. I'd sit in Starbucks people watching as I savor my drink.
From there i'd go guilt free shopping. I'd buy what I wanted (nothing too crazy) some new makeup, maybe a new top, or how about a new pair of shoes. No guilt!
Afterwards I would get a manicure/pedicure - the works with a major scrub. Afterwards I would a full body massage and slip into a state of EXTREME relaxation.
Afterward that I would meet up with a friend for lunch, preferably somewhere outside to enjoy the weather and a glass of wine.
After lunch I would go see a movie, something heart warming and thought provoking.
After the movie I'd probably head home where I would sit outside with a fruity drink and enjoy the sun.
As dinner approached I would have a Deluca's pizza and bread sticks because on my perfect day there would be NO cooking.
After devouring the most perfect pizza I know, I would snuggle up on the couch surrounded by pillows and blankets and my little puppy in my lap.
I would be nice and toasty and warm where I'd sip on some tea and i'd catch up on my favorite shows.
Once 10:00 rolled around, I'd wash my face, get my PJ's on and read in bed till I fell fast asleep.

How glorious does that sound? What does your perfect day look like?