Lack o' Motivation

Source: a-fitspirational-blonde.tumblr.com via Christina on Pinterest

Lately I've been more drained than ever. I feel as though I only do three things:

1.) Work
2.) Eat
3.) Sleep

I work all day, dealing with some pretty stressful things too lately... I come home help put on a meal and eat it then I promptly fall asleep on the couch until the hubs comes and wakes me up and I move to the bed where I lay awake for an hour or two and eventually fall back asleep. Riveting! I know this isn't going to last. I know my body is preparing for this little one and I should be grateful that I am getting as much sleep as I am now. And I am. But I'm ready to feel like my old self again. Motivated, productive, inspired...

Today although I feel like crap (got little sleep thanks to my neighboors kids having a party) I have some major motivation to get my house/baby stuff in order. I hope that by the end of the day today when I get home I still have that motivation - you never know.

1.) I have three baskets full of clean clothes to fold/put away
2.) I have another basket full of clothes, blankets, towels, bibs etc for Vincent that needs to be washed and put away
3.) I want to order his bedding today
4.) I need to sort and organize all of our wonderful gifts from our latest shower
5.) Put together items that need to be taken back (some dupes)
6.) Take back said dupes
7.) I need to start Thank you cards
8.) I should pack the hospital bag within the next couple weeks because hey - you never know.
9.) Make a list of things we still need to get before his arrival
10.) Deposit checks/money from shower to buy said gifts.
11.) Put the finishing touches on his nursery.

I reallllly hope I find and hold onto some motivation because we have less than 7 weeks and I still have a lot to do. I am ready and not ready for him all at the same time. I am ready to meet him and kiss him and start our lives together but I dont think I am quite ready mentally and emotionally for this. This experience is going to be life changing for both Mike and I and I think I need some more time to prepare for what it all means. I just need to do it, right? I just need to wash his clothes because i'll be happier once he is here and I dont have to worry about it. I just need to sort through the heap of gifts because once it's all organized i'll be able to enjoy the last couple weeks before he arrives in peace. I'm just going to do it. No matter how tired I am. Ok i am going to go take a nap now. Hah just kidding.

2011 in Review

This year has been one carazy year. Tons of fun stuff to reflect on, so lets take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

January - brought in the new year right.  Spent it with family and friends drinking, eating, dancing, singing.  It was perfection.  I find that over the years, going out and going crazy lost it’s appeal.  Staying in and bringing in 2011 at home felt right.

Went on photography adventure with my mom in downtown Birmingham

February – Mom and I with the help of my wonderful husband who drove us to Ohio and waited anywhere between 5-6 hours for us to get through all the lines where we met the Pioneer Woman and got her book signed.

I also started my new job as an HR manager.  SCARY!!!!!!!!!

March – Started making my own Ice Chai Latte’s – YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!

April – I talked about my favorite things

 

May – Mike and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary by keeping it low key.  We went out to lunch, saw a movie, had some ice cream and had dinner.  YAY!

My mom won tickets to the Oprah show’s very.last.show. no joke.  So we took the train down to Chicago and spent 3 days there sight seeing and having a wonderful time.

June – We got rained out in a big way.

July – Did some more with my photography, once again using Birmingham and Royal Oak as my muse

Treated myself to a lovely massage

Saw a Tiger Game with Mike and Family.

- Took our first pregnancy test and it came back positive!!!!

August – We celebrated a bunch of birthdays including

- My dad
- Mike
- My nephew

We also found out we were officially pregnant!!!!!!! Due in March!

September – Mike and I visited Washington DC and some friends.

October – Celebrated my birthday by visiting Saugatuck on the west side of the state with the Hubs.  We stayed at a very cute bed and breakfast, walked around the town, had a delicious lunch and bought a painting for our kitchen.  It was lovely!

 

November – Celebrated our 4th Thanksgiving with one another, Prepared for the holidays

Got a shellac manicure for the first time that lasted like 17 days.

 

December – Celebrated our 5th Christmas together, started putting the nursery together, paid off 2 credit cards (woot) Saved more money for baby fund, and ate a lot!

2011 was amazing.  No joke.  I am so grateful to God that he has blessed me and my family with goodness this year.  I traveled this year, I met new people, I tried new things, I failed at others, I saw a lot of movies, didn’t read nearly half as many books as I wanted, started a new job, found out we were pregnant, found out we were having a baby boy, kicked ass with our finances, and learned to love more and truly be grateful for all our blessing because life is good.  Looking forward to an amazing 2012

Candy Cane Survey

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What is your favorite Christmas movie? - Oh geeze! I love so many! But I think Home Alone is up there and A Christmas Carole. But I love so many!

Favorite Christmas song? Josh Grobin's - Believe or Noel both are so good. Christmas Shoes gets me all emotional everytime I hear it.
Favorite Holiday Memory? Running around to the different grandparents houses when we were younger. Pure bliss.

What is your favorite cookie/treat to make? The classic Peanut Butter Kiss cookie. Total yums!

Have you ever made an igloo? Haha! I think we definitely tried!
Do you love Starbucks? Of course!

Favorite Christmas Decoration? Hmmm, I am a big fan of our mistletoe above our kitchen doorway into our hall.

Do you hang stockings? We sure do! But our little puppy is a big fan of barking at them and biting at it so they are tucked away till Christmas eve!

Where will you be spending Christmas this year? Mike and I both come from very big close families so we will of course be spending time with both.

Groovin'

I feel like the last couple of months I have just been existing going through the motions of each day. Rarely doing anything for me and feeling anxious a lot. But I feel like the last couple of weeks I am slowly but surely coming back to life. I don't know why, maybe it's just something I go through from time to time. I'll go through a period where I am more anti-social than usual, no desire to go out, not investing in hobbies I enjoy (reading, taking pictures, exploring, going to see movies by myself, trying a new recipe) and than suddenly I begin to snap out of it (slowly) and I feel more like myself again. I haven't posted many updates about the baby because... i'm afraid (and superstitious) always learly of the evil eye (aka those who secretly dont wish you well) but im getting over that too. Because let's face it, it's a glorious thing... the good days the bad days.

It's odd that I am snapping out of it now, when the weather is changing because it's right around this time when it's really dark at 4:30 PM, the weather is getting freezing and most people begin their hibernating. I'm not complaining, because really, my mood is directly reflected to the weather. When it's cold, rainy and gray most days so am I... cold, rainy on the inside and gray. Oh well. So here is a quick update on things...

• I got a lot of Christmas shopping done too which makes me so happy because I seriously get the crazies when things aren't orderly and on time. So I crossed off a bunch of names on this years list. Amen.
• I got a Shellac manicure on 11/12/2011 and my manicure is STILL in tact (NO CHIPS) here is a pic but done mind my chunky fingers. This is day 17 so you can how much they've grown over the past two and half weeks but I'll tell you I'm impressed!

• I recently hung some pictures from our wedding ( a year and a half later, whoops) I really like how it turned out!

• I've been reading the Steve Jobs Biography and I am loving it! It's taking me a while to read it since I pick it up before I go to bed and I only manage to read a couple pages before my eyes cant take it anymore. Who knew he was kind of an ass!
  
• I haven't picked up my camera in a long time. Like a really long time people. Probably since my mom and I took our class over the summer. But this weekend I am rectifying that by taking doing a family photo session for my sister in law/brother in law and nephew this weekend. Hopefully the weather is good!
• I saw The Muppets last weekend. Loved it! Jason Segal is a dream boat.
• I am 23 weeks and 2 days pregnant! Baby boy is a little over 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound ( about the size of a large Mango!) I feel him move all the time and it's the greatest feeling in the world knowing he is in there growing and moving and happy. I already love him so much and can't wait to meet him. 17 more weeks to go!
  
• We are moving slowly on his nursery but it's coming along. We have it painted (need to do some touchups) and have some things bought for him. Need to get moving because he'll be here before we know it!
• I am seeing Wicked for the 2nd time next week. This play is so amazing and am looking forward to seeing it again especially with the people going with me. Mom and aunts - girls night out!

Slowing Down....

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This weekend has been perfection! I really needed a long weekend to get things done yet slow down and enjoy being still. This weekend was a perfect combination of the two.

Thursday:

We woke up and got ready for the day, I had to drop off a couple bowls of cranberry's for my aunt's dinner that I was tasked to make even though our plans changed and we weren't going to be there for the actual dinner only dessert. So Mike and I packed up our dishes, luca's birthday present and Mimi. We dropped off the dishes at my parents had some quick lunch there and headed off to Mike's parents. We got there around 2ish. The house smelled wonderful and my mother in law had lots of yummy snacks to eat before dinner. There was so much food! We literally gorged ourselves. With tons of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls, and more we were definitely in store for a food coma. Shortly after dinner we packed up and headed over to my Aunt and Uncles for dessert and my cousin Luca's birthday. We had dessert and hung out played games - it was wonderful. We got home around 10 and passed out. Even Mimi was pooped.

Friday:

We slept in and lounged in bed for most of the morning. I decided to be productive and cleaned up the house, I get anxious if the house is in shambles for too long. So I scrubbed the floors, vacuumed, dusted, folded laundry, and cleaned the counters. Afterwards, Mike and I decided to go see The Muppets movie with Jason Segel and Amy Adams and let me just tell you it was adorable! We loved it :) Afterwards we stopped by his parents for some leftovers and promptly came home to crash.

Saturday:

Slept in again...amazing. Had some more leftovers. Did some laundry. Then got ready to head over to my parents... Mike was having a game day at our house so I wanted to give them their space so I headed over to keep my Mom company since a.) she wasn't feeling well and b.) my dad went to the MI vs. OH game (we won!) so we watched a freaky ass movie called Melancholia about a planet that was supposed to collide with Earth. It was SO bizarre. I don't even know how to even explain the weirdness that was this movie. Just Google it and decide for yourself. We had more leftovers, made cookies and talked away most of the night.

Sunday:

We had brunch with my sister in law/brother in laws/nephew. Bagels/fruit/bacon/cinnamon rolls/ and juice. A la carte (very nice) afterwards Mike and I went grocery shopping... we needed it SO BAD, we literally had nothing. Afterwards, Jenn and I went up to Homegoods to peruse the aisles. I ended up picking up a new Christmas centerpiece for our table, and some Christmas cards. And here I am... lounging in my sweats in my living room which is by our beautiful Christmas tree. I plan on sitting here for the rest of the day catching up on blog reading and emails.

Tomorrow begins a new work week which I am not too excited about but am grateful that I have. Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Talk soon!

On finding out....

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I am 14 weeks and 3 days. In just a little over a month away we will be half way through the pregnancy and if that month is anything like the last couple months it is going to fly. I’ve debated on talking about the pregnancy on here simply because it’s something that is private. A special time in me and Michael’s life. A time that is so precious and beautiful that it sometimes brings me to tears. But there is something incredibly therapeutic about writing down your thoughts no matter how raw and messy they are and just allowing yourself to be vulnerable instead of holding it in and exploding once you can’t hold it all in anymore.

I also want this to be a place where family can go to read about our progress. How the little one is doing, how we are doing and how we are progressing with all the changes happening in our lives. So I'll begin with how we found our we were pregnant.

By the end of July, about a week before I should have started, I was feeling sick (not nauseous, just a tummy ache) for about a week and only at night. I would tell Mike, my tummy hurts and we would lay in bed together while he rubbed my belly to make it feel better. He would ask me what I ate for the day, maybe trying to connect the tummy ache with something I was eating. But we both kind of brushed it off as nothing. I was also experiencing some cramping which I tend to get before I am about to start too - pre-cramps. So I would carry some products in my purse just in case aunt flow arrived suddenly. I was about 4 days late when I told Mike I still hadn’t started, but shrugged it off because I was late last month. On July 28, 2011 I went out with my mom for a late dinner/movie. By then I was still late and was kind of getting curious/impatient. After dinner, I told my mom that I had to go get some gas so I would meet her at the theatre. But instead I ran up to the drug store and bought a test. I threw a stick in my purse and ran into the theatre. We bought our tickets and I mentioned I was going to use the restroom before we found our seats. I just had to get it done. I had to know. So there I was in a theatre bathroom holding up a positive pregnancy test, eyes wide open in disbelief. How was I going to go into that theatre and act “normal”? I don’t know how I did it - but I did.

After the movie I immediately headed home. I had to tell someone some interesting news. I came home and Mike came over to me and gave me a hug and kiss and asked how my evening was. I told him dinner was good, the movie was wonderful but that I had tell him something. I pulled out the test, handed it to him and said I took it on a whim and it came back positive. He put his hands on his head and sat on the kitchen floor. He had a smile while he did this but you could tell he was shocked beyond belief. He asked if I had another test and I said yes. He said take another one tomorrow morning. Which I did and that one came back positive as well. We took 5 tests total. All positive. I made an appointment with my OBGYN to get some blood work to confirm that we are indeed preggo. The next day, sure enough “You’re pregnant!” Those words rang in my head, You’re pregnant... baby.... inside you.... growing.... it’s real... seriously... life changed in that very second. It was no longer about me. Someone very small was counting on me. Things needed to change. I had to be better. And so our new lives began.... But first we had to let our parents know....

August...you creul beeotch

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August has been one of the most insane months this year. My work had three recruiting sessions this month which meant I was traveling every single week 2 hours away, interviewing, background checks, orientations, and more. We have a couple week reprieve then we are back on the road again. I am playing catch up with my e-mails, paperwork and trying to keep everything straight. We also had 5 birthday's and an anniversary to celebrate. But alas, I feel pretty content today.

My poor house is in shambles. My car needs an oil change, a good vacuum and a wash. My purse is in two different purses currently, I need to stock up the house, I need a new shower liner thing because mine is getting nasty, I need to clean a sink full of pots and pans, I need to catch up on laundry, and I need to pack for our vacation. We are also going to make time to see my brother and my sister in law when they come in Wednesday night. We are shooting for Thursday and Friday. So as you can see, my August has been absolutely chaotic right down to the very last days.

I also saw something very traumatic this month, it was the first time I ever had to call 911 and it was the 2nd worse thing i've seen in my life. It makes me thank God for my blessings and those who I keep close and cherish. It makes you realize that life is precious and we just dont know. We are playing out our lives, but let's be real - we have no control. None. We experience the things we do for a reason, we are placed in each others lives for a reason and God is protecting and watching over us at all times. I know this. I thank God for putting me in that place that day, regardless of how hard it was, so I could learn another very valuable lesson. Thank you God, thank you.

That was a lot to unload about this month... but since I haven't opened my laptop in ages and im barely hanging on with Twitter, I wanted to touch base and talk about this crazy ass month. I've never felt closer to God than I have this month... and I am happy for that. I hope you all have a splendid rest of the month, and I'll try to do another post before I leave for our vacation. Take care!

Pieces of Me: August 2011

I saw this posts over here and thought i'd give it a go

Pieces of Me – August 2011

I like:

Getting a good nights rest * feeling content * TV marathons on lazy afternoons * Ice Cream Sandwiches * a clean house * a clean car * my little Mimi * feeling inspired

I don’t like:

Having a dirty home and no desire to clean * feeling anxious * waiting * disorganization * having a plan * when my nail polish is chipped and I don't do anything about it

I want you to know:

I haven't stepped into my office in like a month, and I havent picked up my big mama camera... not too sure why

I’ve planned:

To go on a vacation soon, can't wait!

I want to say to someone:

Whhhaaaazzzzz uuuuppppppp

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Bullet Points

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• Lately I've been incredibly restless. My head is somewhere completely different... and fear, the unknown and "real life" is stopping me from perusing what really want to do.
• I've been making an effort to be more conscience with my eating habits. I think I've done incredibly well. I'm eating less, not snacking as much, more water, less pop, more protein, less sweets. I still allow myself a couple pieces of chocolate or a cookie here or there but the key is not having a handful of Dove chocolates or 3 cookies. I'm giving myself limits.
• Mike and I are eating in more. We have only eaten out maybe three times in the last couple weeks. I'm excited we've been eating in more, expanding our menu as well as savings.
• This year's goal is to to simultaneously pay off BAD debt while saving our little butts off.
  
• The above goal would allow me (us) to do what I long to do - and that's to travel more. Mike and I already discussed that we would not go on any trips this year and to focus all our funds on paying off debt - that way, next year, we can go on a fun trip, somewhere BIG, somewhere magical - and I don't mean Disney World ;-)
• There are so many little things I want to do, like try some fun craft projects, try a couple new recipes, read more books, take more pictures, write more, etc - but I'm stopping myself.
• I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
• I have this incredibly bad habit of allowing my BAD days follow me around like a black cloud hovering over me. BAD days are going to happen, how I choose to let it affect me is on me.
• I need to put myself out there more.
• I love spending time by myself. Grabbing a coffee, looking through magazines, catching a movie.... but I just CANT eat alone. I feel so....weird.
  

Frugality

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It's kind of like a blessing and a curse. You see, I am very fortunate to be able to afford not only my every day living expenses (mortgage, food, car) as well as other every day perks (cable, Internet etc) but I am also fortunate enough to be able to buy those pair of shoes I knew I needed in my life, or that movie I thought was adorbs. Like I said - fortunate. And it has always been like this for me. I started working at for an actual company at the age of 14 and since then I have always been able to get the things I wanted. However, I have never been the kind of person to be frugal. I would look at my income at the end of the year and wonder, where did all my money go? Sure I had a small chunk of change saved and sure I had a 401k going, but to be 100% honest with you - nothing substantial. Nothing to where, God forbid I lost my job, I would be able to support myself for a couple months till I got back on my feet.

Ever since I got married, and joined accounts and began to pay all the adult stuff - electricity, heating, cooling, water - etc. I am realizing that I need to really buckle down and get my budget in order and start thinking frugal. I'm talking coupons and hunting down deals, and waiting till a birthday or holiday and actual [gasp] ask for it then. It has always been easy for me to run up to the store and get what I wanted - instant gratification, no doubt about it. I need to learn to slow it down for a hot second and not be so quick to purchase what I want when I want. Saving for a rainy day, or a vacation, or eliminating my school loans at a much quicker pace, or paying off any other debt. Let's face it, it's the adult thing to do. I can honestly say, I have never been frugal. Never. And I am sure incorporating my new "Delayed Gratification" policy into my subconscious is really going to piss my ego off. "Those shoes looks amazing on you, you know it and I know - plus you had a rough week. You deserve it" - that's my favorite. I'll be honest, I got a lot of my crazy spending habits out of my system, so I feel that it wont be as hard. The one thing I am worried about is my morning coffee. I think I am addicted to Tim Horton's French Vanilla Cappuccino I cant explain the deliciousness that is this coffee. Those are going to have to go and, oh i don't know, actually use my awesome kick ass Tassimo single cup coffee machine that I so desperately wanted and got but hardly use except the weekend? Sigh.

And the funny thing, its not like anything crazy happened to where I really had to take a good hard look at myself in the mirror and ask - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! But I have been looking at myself in a new way, a way that is saying to myself.... you can do better at life. You can excel in all facets and you know it - so damn it - DO IT! and you know what? I am.

Here is to being more conscience of my spending, more aware of my saving and save up for a fabulous amazing vacation. Amen.

Updates and other notes

So I dont know about you, but I am hella excited for the engagement announcement of Prince William and Kate Middleton I am a sucker for a sweet story and my God, hasnt this poor girl waited long enough - 8 years! Yowza! The only thing I feel if-y about is he gave her his mothers engagement ring. Now don't get me wrong - what a lucky lady to be wearing Princess Di's ring, and I get where he is probably coming from - it's an incredibly sweet gesture. However, I think that kind of stuff is bad juju. Let's be real their marriage (Di's and Charles) didnt end well, they got divorced. Ugh. I do think this is different - they are in their early thirities - been together for 8 years. I dont think there will be too many more surprises. ;-) It is a beautiful ring.
In other news. I have been thinking gift ideas. And to be honest I have everything I want and need - truly.... spoiled really (but grateful) but nonetheless - I love to window shop. First up is how gorgeous are these Boots by Frye? They are so beautiful I could cry real tears.


Also I am in the market for some new makeup. Some good stuff. Stuff that wont end up hurting your skin in the long run. Something light and wont come off easily. So I have been doing some research and came across this stuff Make Up Forever which can be found at your local Sephora. It's not terribly expensive but certainly not cheap and comes in a variety of shades.


I also have been hearing a lot about expensive cookware - more specifically Le Creuset cookware. I would have to sell a kidney to buy even their tinest pot but my GOD have I heard amazing things about this stuff. You can do anything in them - even make doughnuts. TRUE STORY. But instead of breaking the bank to have one of these in my possession, the beautiful Giada De Laurentiis made her own version of Le Creuset Dutch Oven - it's beautiful!


This is Me and Mike's first Christmas at our new house and since I am so excited about this, my house is almost completely decorated already - Haha! Tis the season, right?!

Update time!

Hello! Where has time gone, we are already in September and the month is already flying by! The summer always leaves us with our busy schedules.... our summer has been jammed packed with weddings, parties and family get togethers. While I love these get togethers, it leaves my littly blog neglected. But alas our summer schedule is winding down and I have a little more time on my hands, not much... but some. I sit here at 11:00 at night typing away, although I am insanely tired - waking up at 5:00 am will do that to you - even if you had a Tim Hortans french vanilla cappuccino and a Starbucks pumpkins spice latte in you (first one for me of the season)

Well, a couple weeks ago we went up north to be apart of my brothers big day... and let me tell you.... it. was. beautiful! we had such a blast and the weekend was over before you know it. We danced the night away surrounded by friends and family, it was truly a wonderful time and I am so happy for the two of them. I wish them nothing but the best in life.

After we got back from work, Mike and I got back into the groove of working and but that soon got through off schedule due to a very busy, stressful (in a good way) and crazy labor day weekend! I took off the Friday before labor day to 1. take a 4 day work week, because, well why not? 2. I had a Dr. appt 3. We were picking up our new puppy!

Meet Mimi, the newest addition to the Kustra clan. She is just over 9 weeks old and about 1.5 lbs! She is a purebred Yorkshire Terrier and is just about the sweetest thing walking this green earth. However, I must admit, being a brand new dog owner is A LOT of work and I mean a lot. I get up at the butt ass crack of dawn to drop her off at my parents who are absolutely amazing and are watching her while Mike and I work. It's temporary until she is capable of being at home without getting into trouble. I am cleaning up poop and pee all the time and constantly saying "No!" to the little thing. The first couple night had been rough, but I think we are in a good place now.

She requires constant supervision which is exhausting but I have to admit, I just love her and as much as she wears me out - I don't care.... she is adorable and so sweet. I couldn't be happier. BUT in the midst of all this crazy summer busyness - my house is looking pretty pathetic! I have a hamper FULL of clothes which are not washed, I have a kitchen that is not cleaned, a bathroom which is covered in hair/makeup products, a bed that is not made and a fridge which is half stocked... and on top of that I have a leaky pipe and a shower that doesn't seem to want to get warm....so needless to say I am completely unmotivated in the home front and would rather buy a whole new house than deal with this one - OK I am half kidding.

I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend of playing catch up which I am not a big fan of, preparing for a get together on Sunday to watch the season finale of True Blood with some family and friends which means I have to get this house in order by then. And also taking sweet Mimi to her vet appt. I am also looking forward to reading some more of Catching Fire which is the second installment of The Hunger Games trilogy series, the first one was absolutely amazing and left my heart singing and racing all at once. Team Peeta all the way :)

I am also very excited about fall shows starting up, How I Met Your Mother, Weeds, Dexter, Greys Anatomy.... Eeeeee!!!!!!!! Our poor DVR is going to hate us with how much we are going to record, but alas by shows are back and this makes me happy!

Feels good to finally catch up, hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful fall weather we are having in Michigan, I just put on my first scarf of the season, and let me tell you - it felt good.

Pictures taken by my talent mom