On finding out....

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I am 14 weeks and 3 days. In just a little over a month away we will be half way through the pregnancy and if that month is anything like the last couple months it is going to fly. I’ve debated on talking about the pregnancy on here simply because it’s something that is private. A special time in me and Michael’s life. A time that is so precious and beautiful that it sometimes brings me to tears. But there is something incredibly therapeutic about writing down your thoughts no matter how raw and messy they are and just allowing yourself to be vulnerable instead of holding it in and exploding once you can’t hold it all in anymore.

I also want this to be a place where family can go to read about our progress. How the little one is doing, how we are doing and how we are progressing with all the changes happening in our lives. So I'll begin with how we found our we were pregnant.

By the end of July, about a week before I should have started, I was feeling sick (not nauseous, just a tummy ache) for about a week and only at night. I would tell Mike, my tummy hurts and we would lay in bed together while he rubbed my belly to make it feel better. He would ask me what I ate for the day, maybe trying to connect the tummy ache with something I was eating. But we both kind of brushed it off as nothing. I was also experiencing some cramping which I tend to get before I am about to start too - pre-cramps. So I would carry some products in my purse just in case aunt flow arrived suddenly. I was about 4 days late when I told Mike I still hadn’t started, but shrugged it off because I was late last month. On July 28, 2011 I went out with my mom for a late dinner/movie. By then I was still late and was kind of getting curious/impatient. After dinner, I told my mom that I had to go get some gas so I would meet her at the theatre. But instead I ran up to the drug store and bought a test. I threw a stick in my purse and ran into the theatre. We bought our tickets and I mentioned I was going to use the restroom before we found our seats. I just had to get it done. I had to know. So there I was in a theatre bathroom holding up a positive pregnancy test, eyes wide open in disbelief. How was I going to go into that theatre and act “normal”? I don’t know how I did it - but I did.

After the movie I immediately headed home. I had to tell someone some interesting news. I came home and Mike came over to me and gave me a hug and kiss and asked how my evening was. I told him dinner was good, the movie was wonderful but that I had tell him something. I pulled out the test, handed it to him and said I took it on a whim and it came back positive. He put his hands on his head and sat on the kitchen floor. He had a smile while he did this but you could tell he was shocked beyond belief. He asked if I had another test and I said yes. He said take another one tomorrow morning. Which I did and that one came back positive as well. We took 5 tests total. All positive. I made an appointment with my OBGYN to get some blood work to confirm that we are indeed preggo. The next day, sure enough “You’re pregnant!” Those words rang in my head, You’re pregnant... baby.... inside you.... growing.... it’s real... seriously... life changed in that very second. It was no longer about me. Someone very small was counting on me. Things needed to change. I had to be better. And so our new lives began.... But first we had to let our parents know....