Writers Block… or Life block

Hello all! I know I have been missing lately, and really I don’t have a great excuse.  Thankfully (knock on wood) life hasn’t thrown me any curve balls that would prevent me from writing it’s just lately I haven't felt inspired.  I feel like lately I have been just going through the motions.  I have been getting up, I have been going to work, I have been watching a lot of TV, I have been extremely lethargic and boring.  Which is not like me.  Winter does however bring a more introverted version of myself out but now that the weather is getting nicer and it’s sunny I should be wanting to get out more and try the things I wanted  to do all winter but couldn’t because we were snowed in.  It’s frustrating to say the least. 

However, I do consider myself a very introspective person and I do tend to contemplate life whether it be past, present and future.  I think a possible reason for my lack of motivation in the life sector is because I am in this “in between” my whole life I have I belonged to a group.  Whether it be a: A student, a part time worker, a graduate, a full time worker, a girlfriend, a finance, a homeowner, a newlywed and most recently a wife. 

I now have come to a place in my life where I am figuring out “Now what?” I am working or trying to work on figuring out this new me.  I am in this” in-between in my life where I am trying to figure it all out.  Who am I ? What do I want to be? What are my beliefs? How am I going to get there? I feel like I am in this transitional period in my life where I literally can go in any direction I want.  I just cant pull the trigger.  I have this new found freedom of being the most independent person I have ever been in my life.  I am just stuck in this rut.  Do I make the next steps to peruse my photography? Do I bust my ass to get my creative writing juices back? Do I travel like I always wanted? I just cant make a decision.  So instead I sit and wait for something to bonk me over the head and tell me what I should do.  Well my friends, this just wont do.  I am sick of constantly playing catch up and I am sick of waiting for things to happen for me, I am sick of feel sick and tired.  It’s time I think about the life I want to make it happen.  I know its not going to happen over night, I know that it’s going to take time to be the best version of myself I can be especially after allowing myself to get so far down this hell hole.  But it will be worth it.  To look in the mirror and think This is who you were meant to be.  And frankly, I cant wait for that day to get here.  I am ready for this journey I am ready to try new things and challenge myself in ways I didn’t think I could.  It’s about damn time to take this precious life of mine and make it my bitch. 

I am also going to stop censoring myself on here because I think it might offend someone or because someone might read it and get pissed.  I don’t mean to piss anyone off intentionally.  I am in the process of trying to figure everything out and if that means getting things down on here to help me work it out.  So be it. 

So it begins…