On being human…

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So here it is.  I have good days and I have bad days.  Some days I wake up and kick the days ass.  I am highly productive, I am in a good mood and I feel an all around sense of accomplishment.  Those are the days I love.  But sometimes there are days where I am completely pathetic.  I am unmotivated, uninspired and I don’t get much done.  Those days make me sad.  I sometimes beat myself up over it.  I get frustrated that I've allowed myself to get to that point.  I get angry because I know I could have done better.  It’s being OK with the fact that I have good days and bad days and not everyday can be a good day.  It’s hard for me to be OK with that realization. I hold myself to very high standards professionally and personally.  I have a worth ethic like you wouldn’t believe and I am damn proud of it.  It’s because I hold myself to such high standards I guess that’s why I get so frustrated when I have a bad day.  It’s because I know what I am capable of.  I know I can kick ass, I know I can accomplish the things I need to accomplish – but I don’t.  Instead I lay around in my PJ’s all day and watch 20 episodes of Greek on Netflix.

Monday I had a bad day.  I don’t remember all that happened at work that day.  But I remember coming home feeling deflated and defeated.  I was home alone at the time because Mike had taken Mimi with him to his mom’s to get groomed.  I had the house to myself and I was overcome by emotion.  My house was a mess, my car was a mess, I smelled urine on the carpet because of Mimi’s recent problem, my closet was still unorganized from weeks of my putting off getting it organized, my bathroom smelled mildew-y, my kitchen was a disaster…. I just didn’t feel good.  So I did what every girl who has a great relationship with their mom would do.  I called up my mom sobbing.  Very few people can do what that woman does, she talks me off the ledge.  After a good healthy conversation I got to work on the house.  I worked really hard for 2 hours and soon after my husband came home.  The moment he looked at me he new I was off.  Being the amazing person he is, he ran up to target to get a couple of my favorite treats to cheer me up.  Reese Peanut Butter Eggs, Hi-C, and Stouffer’s Pizza.  Does the man know me or does he know me?

It’s not always easy, and I am going to fail, I am going to have bad days… but I know and recognize that I have more good days than bad and I have an amazing husband and family there to put things into prospective.   Life is good people.  I am happy I know this in my heart.